The Zombies Are Back. We Thought We Had Taken Care Of This.
Just when you thought the threat of a Zombie invasion was past, the Center for Disease Control (CDC) wound everyone up again by publishing a Preparedness 101: Zombie Apocalypse notice on their blog (These links take you away from the library’s page). It is full of good advice for any emergency, Zombie related or otherwise. In the meantime we will take this opportunity to review the library’s policies on Zombies. Yes, we do have policies on just about everything.
First. The library belongs to several consortia and we agree to allow patrons from other institutions to use our collections and in return our students and faculty are welcome at other libraries. What this means for Zombies is that they are welcome here as long at they behave appropriately. We will still enforce the honor code for those who signed it. Any BYU Zombies will need to maintain a neat appearance and refrain from enjoying coffee, tea or alcohol while seeking out victims. Zombies who have not signed the honor code will also need to refrain from such activities while on our campus.
Second, while in the library, Zombies should know that food is allowed only in the snack zone on level 3, the main level where you enter the building. No snacking is allowed on other floors. Level 1 is a very quiet study area where even grunting is not tolerated and level 5, assuming any Zombies can navigate the many stairs or have the coordination to hit the correct elevator button, is staffed by librarians who are adamant about establishing a quiet study environment. If Zombies are here to study that is fine. If they are looking for food and or riots they should stagger over to the Wilk.
Last year the library reached out to Zombies. We featured them on our library shirt along with the motto , “Don’t be afraid…we want to feed your brain.” That still stands. If you are looking for a clean quiet place, away from rage viruses, rouge bacteria, brain parasites, nurotoxins, nanobots, mad scientists, and grumpy roommates then the library is the place for you.
Those people you occasionally see lying on the floor in the book stacks and on the wheelchair ramps are (probably) just tired students. But just in case, we advise you to keep a safe distance and have an emergency kit stored in you apartment or dorm. That’s good advice we’ve heard before.
By the way, the library has 98 Zombie related items in our collection.